+
The original title for this entry was: "Home is where the heart is". But then I realized that when I am at daily morning Mass and when I am receiving Communion that I am always telling Jesus that He is my heart. I have no idea where this is coming from-I just know that it is. I realized, while writing the title for this entry that my Home is truly wherever Jesus is.
I love the sacraments of our Church. Communion first and then Confession. I usually try to go as often as I can to Confession. This past month, however, I was not able to go for about three and a half weeks. And that is a long interval between confessions for me. When I think about the Sacrament of Confession and how I am absolved of all of my sins - I am just so grateful for it.
When I first truly began reading scripture, I understood how important it was in my relationship with Jesus to know my sins, be sorry for them, confess them and then pray a penance for them. John the Baptist states it so clearly:
Matthew 3:2 "Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!"
Matthew 3:3 "...Prepare the Way of the Lord, make straight his paths."
When the Pharisees and Sadducees came to observe John at his work, John called out to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce good fruit worthy of repentance..." Matthew 3:8
I know that the sins that I commit create obstacles in my relationship with Jesus; I see them as roadblocks that prevent me from living in full relationship with our Lord. Going to confession is not easy for me and it never has been. Even when I usually go every two weeks. I mean, how much can one person sin in two weeks? I am always surprised when I sit and do my examination of conscience in preparation for confession. And that is the most difficult part for me. It is not so much telling the priest all of my sins that I committed (that is difficult too, but not as difficult as one would think), it is realizing the number of sins that I commit and how horrible it is to really see myself as I am. I am really not that holy person I envision as me walking around. I know and strongly feel Jesus' unconditional love for me as the sins that I commit do not make Him love me any less. Acknowledgement of them, contrition for them and absolution of them allows me to be as close to Jesus as I can possibly be. My heart is more open, clean, and receptive to Him. And that is why I love to go to confession.
Last week I cleaned out our mud room and laundry room. Both were a complete mess. Every time I walked in the house by way of our garage I would have to pass the rooms. And, every time I walked by them I would feel disgusted, overwhelmed and guilty. Last week I spent a few hours and cleaned both rooms from top to bottom until they sparkled. I would almost go out of my way in our home just to look at them to see how clean and organized they were. A week has gone by and I am noticing how often I need to re-straighten them or wipe down the counter tops just to keep them clean. It takes time and work to keep them clean and straight. It turns out that it was not a one-time deal. However, with it being so cleaned and organized in the first place, it is certainly easier to keep it that way.
It occurred to me that cleaning out the laundry room and mud room is a lot like me going to confession to clean-up my heart and soul. As I stated earlier, Jesus is always in my heart and I tell Him so each time I receive communion. How horrible it must be for Him to be inside of me with all of that dirt and baggage that needs to be cleaned up. After confession, I think about how wonderful it must be for Him to be in a place that is finally tidied-up and clean. And, like the continual straightening up of the rooms in my home, regular confession is just like that - noticing what needs to be straightened or cleaned and doing it on a regular basis.
How does this all fit-in with our pilgrimage to Africa? I have mentioned on more than one occasion how difficult it is for me to leave my home and my family - my comforts - my regular quiet life. What I have not mentioned but have learned through this whole blogging process is that my home and my comfort is found in Jesus. When I am in Africa surrounded by the amazing people that I am traveling with, the amazing people that we will be meeting, working with and praying with, I will know that I will be just as home with them as I am anywhere else because I will be with Jesus. I will miss still my home and family a great deal but I know that I will still feel at home away from them because I will have Jesus in my clean and straightened-up heart. He is always there.
We have often heard it said: "Home is where the Heart is..." and together, wherever we find ourselves, be it Kenya, or Tennessee, or at school, at work, or in the car...we can say: "Jesus I am home and at peace!"
I love the sacraments of our Church. Communion first and then Confession. I usually try to go as often as I can to Confession. This past month, however, I was not able to go for about three and a half weeks. And that is a long interval between confessions for me. When I think about the Sacrament of Confession and how I am absolved of all of my sins - I am just so grateful for it.
When I first truly began reading scripture, I understood how important it was in my relationship with Jesus to know my sins, be sorry for them, confess them and then pray a penance for them. John the Baptist states it so clearly:
Matthew 3:2 "Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!"
Matthew 3:3 "...Prepare the Way of the Lord, make straight his paths."
When the Pharisees and Sadducees came to observe John at his work, John called out to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce good fruit worthy of repentance..." Matthew 3:8
I know that the sins that I commit create obstacles in my relationship with Jesus; I see them as roadblocks that prevent me from living in full relationship with our Lord. Going to confession is not easy for me and it never has been. Even when I usually go every two weeks. I mean, how much can one person sin in two weeks? I am always surprised when I sit and do my examination of conscience in preparation for confession. And that is the most difficult part for me. It is not so much telling the priest all of my sins that I committed (that is difficult too, but not as difficult as one would think), it is realizing the number of sins that I commit and how horrible it is to really see myself as I am. I am really not that holy person I envision as me walking around. I know and strongly feel Jesus' unconditional love for me as the sins that I commit do not make Him love me any less. Acknowledgement of them, contrition for them and absolution of them allows me to be as close to Jesus as I can possibly be. My heart is more open, clean, and receptive to Him. And that is why I love to go to confession.
Last week I cleaned out our mud room and laundry room. Both were a complete mess. Every time I walked in the house by way of our garage I would have to pass the rooms. And, every time I walked by them I would feel disgusted, overwhelmed and guilty. Last week I spent a few hours and cleaned both rooms from top to bottom until they sparkled. I would almost go out of my way in our home just to look at them to see how clean and organized they were. A week has gone by and I am noticing how often I need to re-straighten them or wipe down the counter tops just to keep them clean. It takes time and work to keep them clean and straight. It turns out that it was not a one-time deal. However, with it being so cleaned and organized in the first place, it is certainly easier to keep it that way.
It occurred to me that cleaning out the laundry room and mud room is a lot like me going to confession to clean-up my heart and soul. As I stated earlier, Jesus is always in my heart and I tell Him so each time I receive communion. How horrible it must be for Him to be inside of me with all of that dirt and baggage that needs to be cleaned up. After confession, I think about how wonderful it must be for Him to be in a place that is finally tidied-up and clean. And, like the continual straightening up of the rooms in my home, regular confession is just like that - noticing what needs to be straightened or cleaned and doing it on a regular basis.
How does this all fit-in with our pilgrimage to Africa? I have mentioned on more than one occasion how difficult it is for me to leave my home and my family - my comforts - my regular quiet life. What I have not mentioned but have learned through this whole blogging process is that my home and my comfort is found in Jesus. When I am in Africa surrounded by the amazing people that I am traveling with, the amazing people that we will be meeting, working with and praying with, I will know that I will be just as home with them as I am anywhere else because I will be with Jesus. I will miss still my home and family a great deal but I know that I will still feel at home away from them because I will have Jesus in my clean and straightened-up heart. He is always there.
We have often heard it said: "Home is where the Heart is..." and together, wherever we find ourselves, be it Kenya, or Tennessee, or at school, at work, or in the car...we can say: "Jesus I am home and at peace!"
"Turn away your face from my sins;
blot out all my guilt.
A clean heart create for me, God:
renew in me a steadfast spirit."
Psalm 51: 11-12
No comments:
Post a Comment